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I smile and I'm all teeth underneath,
white bones beneath bulbous lips,
careless quips and sinking ships
when something slips.

Hair of the cat that scratched you-
it's never new but always true.
I watched it stew until it grew
into something different.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder
what does the blind man see when he holds her
and tells her his heart smolders
for her face?

Honesty as a policy
is not for me;
I could never see
eye to eye with it.

You can lie to buy my affection.
I will not try to hide my affliction
and you needn't be conflicted
when we can be so happy together.  
The doldrums strike again. I dont really feel like writing or drawing or doing much of anything right now, but this just came to me so I wrote it down. :hmm:

:iconthewrittenrevolution: 3/4/11
Recent critique to group submission [link]
I placed this in the Free and Blank Verse category because one or two lines in each stanza dont rhyme. Do you find free verse poetry to have less impact than traditional fixed forms? Would this flow better if I made those lines rhyme with the others?
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:iconannika-san:
Annika-san Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student Writer
I want to cry. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my grandpa told me that once. He had eye troubles so everything looked like it had smoke in front of it. He held me close every time i cried.
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:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That is a sweet story. =)
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:iconannika-san:
Annika-san Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student Writer
thanks
Reply
:iconninasilverwing:
ninasilverwing Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
"If beauty is in the eye of the beholder
what does the blind man see when he holds her
and tells her his heart smolders
for her face?"
WOW. The way you managed to arrange 26 letters into such an amazing combination, it's.... wonderful :)
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. =)
Reply
:iconaelogan:
aelogan Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011
This is good work. The rhyme is a little obvious as intentional throughout, but understatement comes with practice.

Also, just because it rhymes doesn't make it traditional/fixed; and a traditional form that doesn't rhyme is still traditional.

Congratulations on your feature, this is very nice.
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. =) I don’t know many traditional forms, so a lot of stuff ends up in “free and blank verse.”
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2011
Your work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here.

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+favlove:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating!
Reply
:iconsebilicious-p:
Sebilicious-P Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Btw, forgot to metion^^ Would you like to read my stuff and tell me what you think of it? :)
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:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I already have a lot of other things I’m trying to take care of at the moment.
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:iconsebilicious-p:
Sebilicious-P Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
The rhymes are very flowing, it makes a lot of fun to read, although Im not a big user of rhymes xD Sometimes it sounds like a rap if you read it out loud with a specific speed ;D But still, its very nice dine :)
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. =) I never read my stuff out loud, so that is interesting to hear.
Reply
:iconsebilicious-p:
Sebilicious-P Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Every day, you learn something new :-P Youre welcome :)
Reply
:icondjibouti4:
djibouti4 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I love this poem incredibly, so well done. At first I thought they should rhyme because it sounded slightly broken. However, the more I read it, the more I liked that aspect - especially in the last two lines. Please do not change it now, it's perfect the way it is.
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. =)
Reply
:iconbluewraith:
bluewraith Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Student General Artist
Traditional fixed forms vs free blank verses? Hmmm... Honestly, it's quite a dilemma to choose between two, but if they both are written together as one, the impact of ambiguity and that of sung beauty come together unlike any other and most importantly to one's own style.
The flow seems fine to me, it'd be rather un-witty to do so. :)

The interesting poem however has a very appealing image. It has a rhyme and flow written much like T.S. Elliot's time but with a fashion of words rather much American than British which render's simplicity to your work as is the bare fact you mention to be 'lies'. Be it sarcasm to prevailing times , 'different' consequences or even a bare lie by a judgmental person, it appears that happiness still exists between two beloved despite having to endure friction.

I really like the fact the poem shows love blossoming somewhere at the edges of acceptance. :)
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:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. I never thought about the possibility of structure and looseness being able to complement each other. I may have to do more experiments with that later. =)
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:iconfetchthestars:
fetchthestars Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011
I love this. I think free verse poetry has more of an impact on me personally than traditional fixed forms. I think the rhyming is fine as it is. It still has a great emotional impact. :heart:
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:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. Free verse poetry is kind of strange to me, but I do it more often than traditional fixed forms.
Reply
:iconfetchthestars:
fetchthestars Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011
Yeah, I know what you mean about free verse. It's not really poetry, but then again it is. ^^;
Reply
:iconlovewillconquer:
LoveWillConquer Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011
Amazing!! I really love this! :D
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. =)
Reply
:icontobea-or-not-tobea:
toBea-or-not-toBea Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011
Very sad and truthful
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. Not exactly how I see things, but I imagine some people are that pessimistic.
Reply
:iconimpaledbycats13:
impaledbycats13 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2011
this is SO GOOD i really love it a lot.enough to add to my favorites and im careful about what i favorite:)
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. =D
Reply
:iconimpaledbycats13:
impaledbycats13 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2011
ur welcome:)
Reply
:iconfreakyshadows:
FreakyShadows Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2010
I love it. Usually I'm not a fan of rhyming, but this poem conveys such amazing emotion alongside the rhyme and it wouldn't be as good if it didn't. Lovely work anyway ^^
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Glad you enjoyed it. =)
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:iconthornyenglishrose:
ThornyEnglishRose Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I like this a lot. The use of rhyme makes it flow beautifully. There's some great imagery in there too. Some parts I don't completely understand, but that doesn't take away from it at all. :)
Reply
:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. I don’t understand it all either. =p
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:iconitisjusti:
ItisjustI Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2010
Aw! :( (hug)
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:iconleonca:
Leonca Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
The speaker isn't me, just some words that popped into my head.
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:iconitisjusti:
ItisjustI Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2010
Oh, ok.
Reply
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